It's something like this. Like Joni Mitchell's 'Big Yellow Taxi' song, "...you never know what you've got till it's gone...".
We have lost our family head, guide and mentor last Tuesday, 24th July 2018. Sometimes i recall snippets of memories from the past with papa. When i was little he used to drive our old morris minor up to batu berendam to visit grandad and the car radio played stevie wonder's "You are the sunshine of my life" as i lay on the car looking at the fluffy clouds above, imagining cowboys and indians hiding behind them. And as granddad's house was situated right in front of the jelutong cemetary we would hear ghost stories as we played in the rubber plantation where we could still find wild tortoises and catch cat fish by hand. This was back in the 70s and it was gloriously fun and organic. Grandpa left us in the 80s and now papa has also gone. The feeling of emptiness is obvious, but in my case and papa's, we were especially close genetically as i was almost his mirror image and he liked what i liked, disliked what i disliked and we understood each other without having to explain.
It's almost like losing my own twin brother. But at the very least, papa has joined mum within a space of 10 months from her passing on and if there is such a thing as the after life, they would surely have reunited as a couple and are cherishing each other now as kindred spirits as they did in real life. Rest in peace, papa. I miss you lots.
